As Long As You're Mine
by Effulgent1
Summary: After Angel leaves Xander depressed and miserable, a stranger swoops in with a history of his own that deals with Angelus and sparks soon ignite an inferno between Xander and this mysterious stranger. But will this inferno survive the tempest to come?
1. Gone

**Summary:** After Angel leaves Xander depressed and miserable, a stranger swoops in with a history of his own that deals with Angelus and sparks soon ignite an inferno between Xander and this mysterious stranger. But will this inferno survive a tempest or is it doomed to burn out consuming everything in its path?

**Authors Note:** This is something a little different for me…it is a Spander fic so if you don't like…don't read…I've already got most of the chapters made out (pun intended hehe) so I'll be updating a couple chapters at a time…this fic is an alternate season 3 and 4…imagine Xander in place of Buffy in all of the previous seasons (well at least in the romantic aspects with Angel) and you've got this fic. HOWEVER Angel was never turned into Angelus because he was never truly happy (also he was always a jerk so the soul didn't do much…oh yeah to all you Angel fans out there you're outta luck this fic is very Angel bashy!!!!) All other plot twists will be explained just know Buffy will be part of a pair…just not your typical one *cough* Fuffy *cough* …Hope you enjoy!!!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything…if I did it would have ended just a little differently!!!

**Warning:** SPANDER…don't like…don't read!!!

**As Long As You're Mine**

**Gone**

He was gone.

Xander stared at the mist where his lover had last stood. The fire engines were still blaring, the people still chattering loudly, but Xander didn't hear any of it. Angel was gone and Xander didn't know if he'd be able to hear anything again. He fell to the ground and barely even saw Buffy and Willow running towards him. He didn't hear their comforting words, didn't feel their sympathetic hugs. He didn't see Giles cleaning his glasses awkwardly, as he always did when it came to Xander and his vampiric lover. Xander didn't acknowledge anything around him. He kept staring ahead into the mist. He's gone. The phrase kept running through his head until it barely sounded like a phrase anymore. The words blurred together as his vision swam. Finally the sobs choking him broke through and he broke down on Willow's shoulder. "He's gone!" Willow looked over Xander's shaking form to Buffy who was standing awkwardly beside Giles. She shook her head, not knowing what to say. No one knew what Angel had really meant to Xander.

The two had hated each other for what seemed like forever. Finally he had broken down and told Willow and Buffy why he hated Angel so much at one of their many slumber parties. He loved him. The two didn't know what to say to Xander then, finally after a week of utter awkwardness they decided that having a gay best friend might not be such a bad thing. The three had gone on, becoming closer than ever. They'd seen Xander and Angel fight, physically in fact, and worried that Xander's heart was going to be broken before he even put it out there. Finally one night at the Bronze they saw Angel ask Xander to dance. The heat between them electrified the crowd even. They'd seen Xander and Angel's first kiss right there on the dance floor. Then afterwards they saw the two beating the crap out of one another in the alleyway. And that's how their relationship went. It was passionately loving one moment and scarily violent the next.

Both Willow and Buffy grew bitter at Angel's cold treatment of their best friend who had never done anything but love Angel, but neither said anything because Xander kept gushing about how kind Angel was when they were alone. They supported him through everything. It had taken a lot of explaining because, as a vampire, Angel automatically had strikes against him. There was a big scene when Buffy and Giles had first found out exactly what Angel was, but they finally worked through it. Xander and Angel had been together for what seemed like forever, and for the most part they were happy. Or so everyone had thought. But as they looked at Xander, sobbing into Willow's sweater, they realized that they had been fooling themselves. Xander was thinner than ever, bruises stained his pale skin and he had odd cuts and scars all over his body.

Buffy was glad that Angel had left because if he had been there at that moment she didn't think she could have controlled herself from staking the vampire good and proper. She had to look away from Xander as her own tears swam before her eyes. She couldn't believe that she hadn't seen this before. Her best friend, and she hadn't seen how broken he was. She looked at Willow, who she could tell was thinking the same thing. Willow started crying with Xander. "I'm so sorry Xander. So sorry…" she whispered sobbing into his shaggy black hair. She rocked him slightly, rubbing his back and continued to apologize softly. Giles rubbed Buffy's shoulder comfortingly and she clenched her jaw to stop herself from breaking down as well. She couldn't form words right now, at least none that would help Xander. But she would kill Angel the next time she saw him. No one hurts her friend and gets away with it. That vampire would pay.

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Across town a black Desoto crashed through the "Welcome to Sunnydale" sign. A bleached-blonde man stepped out of the car. His weather-worn black boots crunched in the wreckage under his feet. He lit up a cigarette and inhaled deeply. He looked around, taking in his surroundings. "Home sweet home." he stated with a British accent playing on every syllable as he chuckled slightly. He turned his head sharply, game face glowering, and sniffed slightly. He could smell his sire still in the air. "Gotcha Angelus." He smirked slightly and got back in the car, reversing over the damage to break everything once again. If he thought he could just run away from Spike, from the insanity that was their relationship, he had another thing coming. The saying goes; Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. If that was true then Hell sure as heck didn't have any fury like a severely brassed off vampire scorned. Spike accelerated, sticking his head out the window, allowing the scent of his ex-lover rush over him. That vampire would pay.


	2. Smashed

**Summary:** After Angel leaves Xander depressed and miserable, a stranger swoops in with a history of his own that deals with Angelus and sparks soon ignite an inferno between Xander and this mysterious stranger. But will this inferno survive a tempest or is it doomed to burn out consuming everything in its path?

**Authors Note:** This is something a little different for me…it is a Spander fic so if you don't like…don't read…I've already got most of the chapters made out (pun intended hehe) so I'll be updating a couple chapters at a time…this fic is an alternate season 3 and 4…imagine Xander in place of Buffy in all of the previous seasons (well at least in the romantic aspects with Angel) and you've got this fic. HOWEVER Angel was never turned into Angelus because he was never truly happy (also he was always a jerk so the soul didn't do much…oh yeah to all you Angel fans out there you're outta luck this fic is very Angel bashy!!!!) All other plot twists will be explained just know Buffy will be part of a pair…just not your typical one *cough* Fuffy *cough* …Hope you enjoy!!!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything…if I did it would have ended just a little differently!!!

**Warning:** SPANDER…don't like…don't read!!!

**As Long As You're Mine**

**Smashed**

Xander wouldn't leave his room. To say that would even be an overstatement. Xander wouldn't leave his bed. He was wearing Angel's clothes, a white tank top and his leather coat. He wouldn't eat, no matter who brought it to him. His parents weren't exactly supportive of his method of mourning. Of course his parents were abusive drunkards who didn't care about Xander at all, so what they thought didn't really matter but, if possible, they were yelling at him more than usual. Not that Xander noticed. But Willow did. She hadn't left him alone for more than an hour while she got clothes or a shower at her house. And even then she would only leave him with Buffy or Oz. Her boyfriend had been super supportive during all of this. Xander was his friend, and although he obviously had questionable taste in lovers, the fact that he was gay didn't bother Oz. The fact that he was in an obviously abusive relationship with a vampire that had just up and left him, however, bothered Oz almost as much as it bothered Willow and Buffy. He was pretty sure all three of them were in agreement that Angel would have to be found and tortured in some interesting way, but as he kept watch over a practically comatose Xander he could feel his wolf starting to churn inside of him. He'd never been so angry before, it was actually quite a scary thing. He knew it was because he thought of Xander as a kind of brother figure and he had always been protective of the people he cared about. He might try to hide it, but Oz had a soft spot for his friends, and seeing how broken Xander was, well let's just say, the wolf inside of Oz had a few choice words to say to Angel.

Willow walked back down the stairs to the basement. "And you tell that good for nothin fag that he better get his-" Willow shut the door before she could hear the rest of Mr. Harris' rant. She sighed and continued down the stairs. She looked at Oz who was glaring absently above Xander's head. She could only imagine what he was thinking. Probably the same thing she was, the same thing Buffy was. Angel had better watch his back. She remembered back to the first time Xander had brought Angel to be introduced as his boyfriend. She almost smiled as she remembered how proud Xander had looked. How happy, and loved. She could remember every threat she and Buffy had come up with. Her favorite being that if he hurt Xander, then he would wake up on fire. She could remember just how threatening Buffy had looked saying that to Angel. Even Giles had glowered properly, and added in some random British threat that was probably said with a touch of Ripper showing through. She sighed again and came to stand beside Oz. She ran her hand over the back of his head and he arched his head further into her touch, like a puppy enjoying being petted. She did smile at that one, but her smile soon faded as she looked at Xander.

Suddenly the basement door banged open. Buffy came clomping down the stairs, whatever shoe of the week on her feet. Willow and Oz both looked up startled by all the noise. Buffy nodded at them gruffly in acknowledgement or greeting. She walked right up to Xander and slapped him across the face. Willow's eyes widened. "Buffy! You can't do that, what if you screw something up in his brain! He needs all the brain cells he has!" Buffy looked at Willow. "Will, he's used to the violence. Speaking of violent people who abuse Xander, you might want to go untie his parents once we move Xander. They're in the closet." She moved until Xander's blank eyes were boring into her own lively hazel ones. "Xander? Can you hear me? You have to get out of his rat hole. You're coming to my house. Then tonight we're going out. We're going to the Bronze. We're going to dance and drink illegally. Perhaps even get quite drunk and prank call Giles or Cordelia. We're gonna have fun. Do you remember fun?" She sighed as he continued to stare lifelessly at the same spot.

Willow looked at her, concern etched clearly in every inch of her face. "Buffy are you sure about that? I mean he just lost his lover. It's good for him to grieve. I mean-" Buffy cut her off with a hand. She pointed at Xander. "That's not good or healthy Will. That's a coma. I think Faith is lookin more alive at this point." She flinched slightly at her own unintentional mention of Faith's name. She was so not ready to go there yet. "Willow, he hates it here. Maybe if we get him somewhere that he was comfortable. Somewhere that holds good memories for him, then maybe," she turned to Xander and caressed his hair, "maybe we'll get him back. Or at least a piece of him. Because this isn't him; this is just a hollow shell." Willow blinked back tears. She looked at Xander and stood up decidedly. She walked to his closet and pulled out a duffel bag. She looked up to see both Buffy and Oz looking at her. She blinked back, surprised. "What? He needs clothes." She sighed for what seemed like the thousandth time and glanced back at Xander. "Buffy's right. We have to do whatever it takes to get Xander back. So if it means taking him to Buffy's or my house then I'll do it. I'm willing to drag him to the Bronze if that's what it means. I think we all would." She looked at Buffy and Oz who nodded in agreement. Then she walked back to his closet and pulled out clothes, stuffing them in the bag as she went.

"I hate that shirt." The voice was hoarse, and strained but there. Willow whizzed around to face Buffy and Oz, who all shared a look before they quickly looked over at Xander. He was watching Willow with the same hollow look he'd had earlier. But he had moved. And now he was blinking, and licking his lips slightly. Willow glanced at Buffy who nodded slightly. "Yeah I do too Will. What were you thinking? You know yellow is so not Xander's color." She forced a chuckle and Willow followed suit. Xander, however, didn't even bother. "You're right! What was I thinking? Why would I ever pick up yellow of all things?" She laughed her voice shrill and becoming slightly hysterical. Oz stood up and took the bag from Willow. "Let me." Willow smiled weakly and let the bag be taken from her shaking hands. Buffy looked at Xander. "Is there anything else you need?" Xander turned his head until his eyes were again looking at Buffy. At his look she quickly rephrased her sentence. "Anything else you want to bring to my house? Pillow or toothbrush would be good." Xander nodded slowly, like a child learning to control their own movements. "Toothpaste too. You know I need to be minty fresh." He tried to sound normal but the joke fell short of any semblance of normal even though everyone present forced a bright chuckle. As the silence between them became too long, too awkward, everyone moved around and gathered Xander's things, each wondering the same thing. What happens next?

**********************************************************

Spike made his way up the hill to the mansion where Angelus' scent was strongest. If there was a chance of him being anywhere, it was this place. It was beautiful. The garden held jasmine, Angelus' favorite, night blooming. Spike remembered a time when he had compared Angelus to the flower he loved so much. Only showing its true beauty in the darkest night. Spike growled at the thought of how soft he truly was inside. He stormed through the garden making sure to rip handfuls of jasmine off the vine on the way in. He broke down the door. "Angelus! I know you're here! Come out; come out where ever you are!" He paused listening for any sound at all. Of course there wasn't one. Even if Angelus was there, he would make no sound if he didn't want to be found. That's what made their kind so hard and annoying to track. He looked around the mansion and could tell something was wrong. The scent was different now. Mingled in with something, or someone else. Spike stopped at the thought. He glanced around and found what he was looking for. The bedroom. Angelus' bedroom. He walked in and promptly stopped. There were pillows. Not just your average white plain pillow either. Big fluffy colored things with patterns that matched the bedspread. Matched the room color. Color?! Spike caught the smell again and could tell it was a person this time. Angelus had another lover. Or he had at one point. Judging from how faint Angelus' scent was now he'd been gone for a couple of days or a week even. It looked like he had left everything of the lover's still in the mansion as it was. But he'd taken his own stuff. Spike could tell he'd taken his books. Random trinkets that he'd collected over the years were missing as well, things that Spike knew he would never leave without. He was gone. Spike crumpled to the ground. He was gone. Spike was too late again. He cursed grinding his teeth preventing the tears from pouring out. He was too late. Angelus was gone. Had this lover driven him off? Or did Angelus leave the lover alone and heartbroken without a logical reason like he had with Spike? It didn't matter. Spike glared at the bed, fluffy pillows and patterned sheets. No one touched Angelus but him. No one! He would find the lover and make him pay. Or...Spike's trademark smirk came over his face as he formed a plan so ingenious, so evil, that it was pretty much your typical bad guy/ex-girlfriend plot from a soap opera. Only one thing left to do before he could start this plan. Spike got up rubbing his eyes viciously and walked over to the bed. He picked up the smallest pillow and held it to his face, inhaling. He could smell everything. Angelus, the mystery lover, and-. He broke off. It didn't matter. He could track the boy now. That was all he needed. He laughed hysterically as he ripped the pillow in half, feathers flying everywhere. "Gotcha now boy." He lit up another cig and turned round. He strode majestically out of the room, tossing the burning cigarette onto the fluffy mess, instantly lighting the whole bed up. 'Phase one complete.'


	3. Dead Man's Party

Disclaimer: See chapter one or whatever chapter it was that I put a real disclaimer in!!!

Authors Note: Okay so I've been dealing with end of school stuff and the start of college so I DEEPLY apologize for this chapter being late! I'm sure most of you will have to go back and reread the story to make sure you remember it (I know I did!) But now as the summer is here, and yes sadly waning away, I'm going to try and update often and get these stories somewhere near a conclusion so I don't feel so bad for neglecting it in college!!!

**As Long As You're Mine**

**Dead Man's Party**

'Phase one complete.' Buffy congratulated herself on a small victory. Xander lay in the middle of her bed, Willow and herself on either side. Oz sat in the floor in front of Willow, purring slightly as she played with his hair. Everyone watched the movie, laughing and talking like normal. 'Well,' she looked over at Xander's blank eyes staring trance-like at the screen, 'almost normal.' Xander could feel her staring. He could feel Willow's occasional glances over and could feel the strain of the conversation that Oz of all people, was trying to make. He was trying. He didn't know what they wanted from him exactly but God he was trying to give it to them. It was hard. It wasn't hard to pretend to be happy, no he'd been doing that for a while. Every time things with Angel and him got strained he had to pretend. It wasn't that. It was hard to keep breathing. It was hard to stop thinking of him enough to make the fake conversation. It was hard to stop himself from imagining every single second of their relationship. It was hard to believe everything. Denial had sunk into every pore of his body. He still felt that Angel could walk in at any moment. It was hard to accept that his cell phone wasn't going to ring with Angel's angry voice demanding to know his whereabouts. He couldn't imagine what it would be like to not hear Angel's voice again, not feel his crushing hands wrap around him. It'd been like this for a week now. He still kept expecting Angel to just show up and it was hard. God he had to get out of this smothering atmosphere. There was too much love in this room for him. Too much sympathy and he didn't know if he could go on much longer like this. "Let's go to the Bronze." Everyone blinked and stared at him. 'Oh boy this is fun. This staring things gonna get old fast.' Buffy was the first to compose herself. "Oh, okay. The Bronze? Are you sure you wanna go there?" Everyone was obviously remembering how vital the Bronze was to Angel and Xander's relationship. But he needed to go there. Needed to feel that Angel was really gone. He had to get used to the idea. Xander nodded. "Yeah, it's alright guys. I'm not goin comatose again. Promise. So can we go?" Everyone glanced at each other and Xander waited, not really patiently, for their answer. Willow nodded. "If it's what you wanna do Xander then we're all for it. Let's go Bronzing! It'll be a party, except without the hats and streamers, or reason for celebrating...okay I'm just gonna shut up now." Oz smiled softly at her and even Xander had to attempt to tweak his mouth up at her babbling.

"We do have a reason to celebrate!" Everyone glanced down at him sharply again and Xander sighed, his facade starting to crack with all the pressure they kept putting on him with their stares. "Um did we or did we not finally escape Hellmouth High?" They all looked at him still barely blinking. "Guys...graduation? Please tell me I didn't just dream the big battle with a freakishly large Mayor Snake! If I'm just dreaming this in Biology don't wake me up!" They all laughed, probably their first real laugh around Xander since...Xander pushed the thought out of his mind and allowed his mouth to form the foreign concept of a smile. Oz nodded. "He's right. We graduated. I say we party." Buffy nodded and popped off the bed. "Well what're we waiting for? Let's go!" Xander laughed up at Buffy. She glanced down at him and smiled. A laugh, probably Xander's first in a while. "And what is so funny Xander Harris?" He smiled, still startled at the sound that had come out of his own mouth. "That 'let's go' would probably be a lot more believable if you weren't in your pajamas. If all of us weren't in our pajamas actually." She glanced down to catch a glimpse of the 'Yummy Sushi' pajamas she had on. "Oh." Then the strangest thing happened. They all laughed. Really laughed. Xander felt a weight start to fade from his heart. This is what he had needed. His friends, his laughter, and his life. Angel may have taken his heart, his love, but he could never have taken his friends. Strip him of everything and leave him broken and bruised but, Xander glanced up at his friends laughing and joking about pajamas being the latest fashion, Angel could never strip him of his friends love. Never.

**********************************************************

The Bronze. Spike rolled his eyes and paused in front of the entrance. What the hell kind of name was that? He sighed again. This was beginning to become a very stupid plan. He'd asked about the party spot for all the kids around here and it led him to this club. The Bronze. He saw a brunette girl walk in surrounded by girls flocking behind her. He could catch their conversation without so much as straining. Hell he barely even needed vampire hearing the way their high pitched voices carried. "I can't believe he ate Snyder! Ugh if you ask me he had it coming but still. Has anyone seen Harmony?" The girls continued their chattering as they walked into the club and the sound of a DJ poured out. He'd heard it was usually live bands that apparently no one had ever heard of, but tonight was a DJ. He rolled his eyes again. Probably a DJ from bar mitzvahs or some crap like that. He growled. "Bugger this! Like the boy's even going to come here! Probably off mourning." He started to turn but the sharp smell whirled him around. There he was. Spike stopped and watched the boy, devoured him with his eyes. He was with a group of people. A red haired couple, one a witch the other a werewolf. He wrinkled his nose at the smell of them on each other. A blonde woman, short, perky looking. A slayer. That caught his attention for a moment. She looked like a fighter. Shame he was only here for the boy or she would've been fun. He glanced back at the boy and watched him move. He was graceful, even at such an awkward age the boy was perfect. Spike could tell the boy wasn't comfortable in his own skin but you wouldn't know it from those movements. They were perfect. His shaggy black hair curled at the ends tickling that perfect neck. Spike ran his tongue along his teeth. Those large dark eyes held so much soul in them that even Spike had to stop looking in them. Soul. Spike growled again, souls weren't a quality to be proud of. He watched the group walk into the club and paused, trying to even out his breathing. It was no wonder Angel had wanted the boy. He was beautiful. Those eyes were...Spike closed his eyes seeing them again. That boy had layers. Spike smirked. He couldn't wait to peel them away slowly until there was nothing left of the boy but what lay beneath. Spike licked his lips at the thought and went inside.


	4. Dirty Boys

**As Long As You're Mine**

**Dirty Boys**

Xander couldn't think. He wouldn't allow himself to. He couldn't remember all the memories that came rushing back. He pushed them out of his mind as he sipped his drink and smiled at his friends, this one much weaker than all the others at the house. "Let's dance!" Oz and Willow looked away from each other. Buffy shrugged. "I'll go." Xander smiled at her and held out a hand to take hers. They looked back at the couple. Willow smiled at them. "I think we'll take the next Soul Train, you guys go boogie we'll guard the table!" Oz looked at her. "This is a really good table." She smiled, beaming at him. "I had to kill a man." Oz nodded. "Really good table." They smiled softly at each other and Xander pulled Buffy away before he started vomiting, or crying. They danced. The music swirled around Xander, ran through his veins. He didn't know the song, barely even heard the beat. He was moving to his own. Dancing away the memories that threatened to drown him. He didn't know how long he was there, it could've been hours or it could've been minutes but soon Buffy told him she was thirsty and made her way back to the table. He was alone, again. He didn't mind though. Because Angel was here, standing in front of him. Dark eyes boring into his own.

Xander shut his eyes and danced. Of course it wasn't Angel. He wasn't an idiot. It was just a hallucination, brought on my grief or wishful thinking. But it didn't stop him from dancing. He let himself believe Angel was here dancing with him. Holding him, grinding against him, growling sexual comments into his ears. Then suddenly someone really was holding him, grinding into him. "May I cut in?" The voice whispered, the man's cold breathe running down Xander's neck, sending shivers down his spine giving him goose bumps. The voice alone made Xander sizzle. The accent that played on every syllable helped, Xander loved a man with an accent. He turned around and smiled coyly up into the bluest eyes he'd ever seen in his life. They bore into his own and it took all the strength he possessed to pull away from the trance he'd fallen into in order to look at the rest of the man. The blondest hair he'd ever seen was styled back but a single curl had fallen out of place letting Xander know what this man's hair really looked like under all the gel. If it was tousled, if Xander ran his fingers through it, then he knew those curls would fall out making the man even sexier. Soft small ears that looked completely biteable, sharp perfect cheekbones that made all the Greek gods Xander had ever seen statues of look like Wal-Mart cashiers. And lips. Soft, perfect, and Xander wanted them, he wanted to possess them, wanted to feel them form that completely sexual smirk against his own. Xander blinked startled at his own thoughts. "See something you like pet?" Xander glanced back taking in the man in his entirety. Black outift, bad guy.

'Damn' Xander cursed mentally. He was too sexy to be evil. Xander smirked, echoing the man's face as he saw that the man was glancing down Xander's body. Xander was so glad he'd chosen an outfit that fit him like paint, flattering the body he hadn't even worked to attain. "Obviously you did." The man glanced quickly back into Xander's face, carefully avoiding his eyes. He chuckled slightly and Xander felt his body light on fire at the sound. How could someone affect him like this? The man nodded. "M'still seeing it. Care to dance?" Xander smiled again. "I thought we were dancing." The man shook his head, mumbling something to himself that Xander couldn't catch. He stepped closer and allowed the music to flow for a second before catching Xander's hips and grinding him close. Xander didn't know the song, didn't care, it didn't matter. He kept his face focused on the man as they moved as one, dancing to the beat. "What's your name kitten?" Xander smirked coyly up at the man. "What do you want it to be?" The man clenched his teeth in obvious arousal. Xander smiled to himself that he could provoke such a reaction in a man so utterly sexy. "Xander." The man's eyes widened and then narrowed into an intense gaze. "Xander." Xander's breath caught at the sound of this man, this utter stranger, saying his name. Worshipping his name, letting the sound of it roll from his tongue, caressing his name with that mouth. The man's mouth went from an almost shocked look to a smirk. He ran his tongue over his teeth, curling it behind them, leering. The leer brought Xander back to reality, halting the fantasies that were fluttering about. The man leaned closer as if to kiss Xander, then he spun him around. He pulled Xander back, flush against him. His cold breath sent shivers down Xanders neck and he shuddered visibly causing the man to chuckle. The vibrations made Xander shudder again in pleasure. " M'name's Spike." Xander growled softly, "Spike." Spike growled into Xander's ear. This was turning into a dangerous game. A dangerous plan. "Xander." Spike whispered in his ear, allowing his tongue to run along the outer rim of Xander's ear, blowing softly. Xander groaned and ground his body back into Spike. Spike closed his eyes, gritting his teeth, and grabbed onto Xander's hips to stop his movement. "You're playing with fire pet." He allowed one of his cool hands to slip under Xander's shirt to let Xander feel his skins temperature. He wanted Xander to know.

Xander's eyes widened at the cool hand stroking his back slightly. Cool, in this heat? In the middle of the dance floor full of people? Just like.."Angel." Xander froze. He could still remember the night he'd found out what Angel was. He'd known before everyone else The first time they'd kissed, right here on this dance floor. "Xander..." He closed his eyes feeling Angel's cold lips brushing over him, his cold tongue invading this mouth as his cold hands roamed his body. "You're cold," Xander had whispered looking up into bright yellow eyes. Angel growled and stormed off into the alley. They'd fought. "Xander?"

He opened his eyes to see Spike's blue eyes, 'so blue,' he thought, so different from the dark eyes of his former lover, the complete opposite. The gaze he saw was not the dark gaze that froze his soul, instead it was full of life, concern, and a sparkle of something else that smoldered deep within. These eyes drew him in when Angel's had cast him out. These filled him with a warmth that was so different from the cold he'd felt whenever Angel's gaze had pierced his heart, like an icicle that went right through him. Then cold hands caressed his cheek. A soft caress, not the sharp blow Xander was so used to. His flinch was unnecessary, it only caused the concern to become more prominent in Spike's eyes. Spike leaned close. So close that Xander could feel his cool breath on his lips. "I can fix you." Spike whispered so softly that Xander might have been imagining it. Then he kissed him. It was soft, tender, passionate, so different. These vampires, these men, were so different. It was brief. It could have only lasted seconds, like a soft breeze on a summer's day, but it warmed Xander's hollow heart to a temperature that he'd never thought possible. How could a stranger thaw a heart that had long frozen? Xander craved more. The sparks flowing through his veins were too harsh, too bright, too new, and utterly perfect. He needed more. He grabbed Spike's head, crushing their mouths together. Sparks. Big flashes of light that played behind his eyes, jolting his heart. It made him feel so...alive. This hollow shell of Xander Harris was filling up to the brim with something caused by this stranger. Spike pulled back and looked into Xander's eyes. Those large slate blue eyes were full of smoldering lust and Xander licked his lips at the thought of it. He could taste the bitter whiskey and yet underneath a sweet brown sugar flavor that was so different from the ashes that Angel tasted of. "Call me when you're ready to burn pet." And with that he turned and strode off into the dark shadows leaving Xander cold in his wake, longing for the fire that was a vampire named Spike.


	5. Fool for Love

**Summary:** After Angel leaves Xander depressed and miserable, a stranger swoops in with a history of his own that deals with Angelus and sparks soon ignite an inferno between Xander and this mysterious stranger. But will this inferno survive a tempest or is it doomed to burn out consuming everything in its path?

**Authors Note:** I am a terrible person who should be forced to watch Bangel for the rest of my life. I AM SOOO SORRY! I promise I have not abandoned this fic, or any other for that matter! Please forgive me and feel free to message me and remind me if I don't start updating AT LEAST once a month! Again, I bow down to beg for your forgivness. Hope you enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** If I owned it, I wouldn't have to write about it.

**Warning:** This is SLASH people! There are sort of sexy times in this…There are also less sexy times, such as some Angelus/Spike, Angelus/Dru, Angelus/Darla/OMC. Basically Angelus is a manwhore who should die. Kay thanks!

**As Long As You're Mine**

**Fool for Love**

God he was an idiot. What the hell had he been thinking? He couldn't fall for the whelp! He was supposed to just crush whatever was left of his shattered heart beneath the heel of is boots and teach him a lesson for touching what was Spike's! 'I can fix you?' What the bloody hell was that about? Spike threw the TV that was in the hotel room. It crashed to the floor, the glass screen shattering. Well that was just great, now how was he going to watch Passions?

A sharp knock resounded on the door moments later. Spike opened it quickly, the man's hand still hung in mid knock. The hotel manager blinked quickly. "Sir, there's been a noise complaint. If you don't keep it down I'm going to have to ask you to leave..." Spike growled, game face already slipping into place. He grabbed the man who flinched. Spike stopped. He remembered how Xander had flinched when he'd touched him… The boy had been Angelus' play toy, same as Spike. Under different circumstances Spike would have wanted to compare notes to see how rough Angelus had been with him. Xander… Spike let go of the manager, even dusting off his coat. He let his face slip back into the handsome man instead of the beast and nodded at the man "I'll try to keep it down pops. Oh here." He handed the manager some money. "For the tv. Sorry about that mate." He shut the door and stormed over to the bed, falling down on it with a flop. He closed his eyes, even though the knew he wasn't going to be sleeping. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Xander. Those chocolate eyes that melted just enough for Spike to see inside, those soft full lips. Damn, Spike could write sonnets about those lips. All that sweet sensitive skin al humming with life. Spike could still feel the boy's heat all over his body and just remembering how good Xander had felt had Spike's cock hardening again. It didn't take much imagination to picture what the boy would look like naked. Broad strong shoulders tapering down to narrow hips, hip bones making the perfect arches for Spike's thumbs to rest in. A wide expanse of pale skin, warm and untouched, begging to be marked, like a canvas that stands unpainted. Xander would be Spike's masterpiece. He could imagine the trail of dark downy curls leading to the boy's cock. Spike's hand trailed down his own body to unbutton his pants. Spike couldn't help but wishing the hand stroking him was not his own, but instead Xander's large hands with those elegant fingers, radiating both strength and gentleness. He could practically feel the boys calloused hands stroking him, bringing him to the brink.

"Stop it!" Spike's eyes flew open, throwing light on the fantasy that was starting to unfold. He wanted Xander. He waited to tie him up and take every pleasure he could from Xander's body. He'd never been with someone alive before. It made Spike even more desperate, to sink inside a warm body, to swallow the boy's hot come, hear his heartbeat accelerate as he brought Xander to a paradise he'd never known, to hear him scream Spike's name. Spike's hand had started to pump again, faster this time. Once more, he stopped himself.

He jumped up from the bed, growling. Spike hadn't gone a full step before he howled out in pain. He sat down and pulled the pieces of tv glass out of his foot. The sweet scent of borrowed blood filled the air and did nothing to abate Spike's erection. The pain just reminded him of Angelus.

Angelus was a master of making pain hurt in a way that degraded Spike so far that it felt like pleasure. Angelus loved mental pain too. Spike remembered after their first time, how Angelus had talked abut what a terrible virgin Spike was, how he'd had better from street whores. Then when Spike had finally returned to their room that night, he caught Angelus screwing Drusilla. Spike stood there and watched until it was over. Then he ran outside and emptied the contents of his stomach. Angelus would only tell him later that it was his own fault for not being there when Angelus wanted him. It wouldn't be the last time Angelus took another lover.

Spike remember the worst being when he saw Angelus with Darla and another man. To watch Angelus suck another man's cock after doing the same to him earlier killed him. Angelus knew that Spike was there, he could feel them. He forced the other man to his knees and thrust himself into the man's mouth. All while looking at Spike. Spike could still remember the look on Angelus' face; those eyes, dark cold and harsh, hypnotizing Spike, forcing him to watch. His mouth was a smirk, tongue tracing sharp teeth, his head thrown back, his hands yanking the man's hair. Spike's scalp tingled from the remembrance of when those hands had been in his hair. Those hips that had thrust into Spike the night before. Spike remembered the soft growl of Angelus' release, he hadn't looked away once. Angelus mouthed "William" to let Spike know that it was for him. Just another fucking game.

Spike had run away that night. He came back of course, he always did. Angelus tied him up, refusing to let him go. His Irish lilt coming out even stronger when he was angry, Spike's ass a bright shade of crimson, whips weren't the only things Spike had had used on him either. But it was Angelus' words that hurt the most. "I'm not letting' ya leave again William. Besides that, who'll love you 'sides me? Who's going to make it good for ya?" It was this thought that kept Spike coming back, because he knew Angelus was right. No one else would ever love him. Even his sire, Dru, had abandoned him, telling him that the sun inside of him burned her so and he made her posies taste like chocolate when he knew quite well she liked them ash flavored. She was always a little nutty, but Spike could remember the night she tried to kill him. She would have succeeded if a mob hadn't started burning the house the very same night. But they were all right. He was sick, worthless, so incapable of being wanted. Who would love him now?

_The boy? _Surely not. Not that gorgeous creature of light. His chocolate colored eyes could see right through him, see right to his rotten insides. The boy probably hated the taste of Spike in his mouth this very moment. But…it had seemed that, even just for a brief moment, that Xander had wanted him too. _That kiss_. Xander seemed to crave Spike almost as Spike craved him. Xander kissed like he had wanted to possess something inside of Spike, or maybe just Spike himself. But why? Why would such a beautiful breathing, sun-kissed mortal want the dark, disgusting evil that Spike knew lurked where his soul had beamed? Spike couldn't fathom a reason.

Spike laid back down on the bed. He'd find Angelus, he always did. It wasn't always bad. He could remember the last time he caught Angelus in this little game of hide-and-seek-until-you're-bloody-re-dead that had been going on since Angelus had gotten his soul. But Spike wouldn't think about that night. He couldn't. He tried to imagine Angelus the way he was before. He closed his eyes and thought of Angelus sinking sharp fangs into his neck, drinking deeply. His hands dancing over Spike's nipples to his sculpted stomach until reaching its destination at Spike's cock. He started to stroke himself again, just as Angelus had done so long ago. Angelus wouldn't play long, he'd quickly slither down Spike's body and capture his aching cock between lips that were barely covering sharp teeth. Spike's cock was begging attention from hands larger, stronger than his own delicate ones. However, until he found Angelus his own hands would have to do. He forced his eyes shut again and remembered how good it felt to be inside Angelus' mouth, although not as hot as he was craving it to be. He could feel Angelus' tongue circling the tip before he took all of Spike's length into his mouth, sucking hard and scraping teeth so hard that Spike started to whimper.

Spike's hand pumped faster, his lean hips bucking wildly off the bed. He could practically feel himself tangling his hands in the dark hair that covered the bobbing head; begging for release. Dark eyes looked up his body to lock onto his own. A mumbled word hummed along his cock, understood to be his name. Spike tensed and then his release was upon him, blinding him to the world, a burning shade of white heat behind his eyes. "Xander!" Spike screamed, the dark eyes in his mind almost smiling with pleasure. And he thought he was damned before.

Across town, Xander bolted upright in Buffy's bed.


End file.
